Dear Zayde,
This week I learned about our nation's history. No, not really. I'm 19 months old. There's no way I'm going to sit through a retelling of the colonies' political and philosophical break from England. I did wear red, white, and blue, though, and I heard some loud bangs outside around dinner time that I was told have something to do with independence and Florida's lax fireworks laws. My parents seemed nervous about what would happen that night, but I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. I had dinner, took a bath, got into my pajamas, brushed my teeth, and then did the usual nighttime shtick with Mommy before heading off to dreamland. I have a vague recollection of hearing rapid-fire thunder for a few hours, but we've had thunderstorms day and night around here for the last few weeks, so I didn't let the noise inhibit my beauty sleep.
This week I also learned that there are stores filled with furniture. I learned that we need a new couch because someone in our house is destroying ours. I think it might be Daddy. He's kind of a big guy. The best way to shop for a couch, apparently, is to sit on as many couches as you can find. Once we had tried out all the couches in one store, we moved onto the next. I noticed that when my parents looked at the tags on most of the couches, they had the same look on their faces as when they're changing my diaper and I've had a particularly significant "personal event." (That's what Bubbie calls it, right?)
Lastly, this week I learned that white cauliflower is almost as good as purple cauliflower. Almost, but not quite.
Let these facts be submitted to a candid world,
Zelda
Monday, July 21, 2014
June 23 - June 29 (Year Two, Month 20)
Dear Zayde,
This week was chock full of learning adventures. It started off slowly but surely when I learned that the whole world drinks from a big cup that's somewhere in Brazil. When they're not drinking from the cup, people run around a big grassy field and kick a ball. My favorite part is identifying the ball on the television screen and yelling, "ball!" I never got to see the cup, though. Maybe that was on another channel.
The educational aspects of the week really picked up when Mommy and Daddy and I woke up early on Thursday and drove to the airport. Did you know that planes are much bigger on the ground than when they're flying over our house? On our flight to Boston, I learned that it is not okay to kick the seat in front of me, unlock and lock the tray table, or crawl on the floor. Thank goodness Mommy and Daddy brought two new lift-the-flap books and a learn-to-dress monkey on the plane or I never would have kept them occupied and distracted past take-off.
On the drive from Boston to Maine, I learned that Mommy can, in fact, give me milk while the car is in motion. The trick it to have someone else driving.
In Maine, I learned that radishes are born in dirt and need to be rescued. Strawberries fresh from Aunt Linda's garden are much better than the ones Mommy gets at the store. I don't understand why we don't always have them at home. I learned that some driveways are covered in millions of tiny stones, all of which enjoy being scooped, shuffled, and tossed. I learned that the water in kiddie pools in Maine is much colder than in Florida, but seeing as I was allowed to swim without a bathing suit, I didn't mind at all. I also learned about the pure joy of running naked through the grass while eating a homemade ice pop. Linda, who is an artist, showed me how to use the pop to paint on my tummy. I had so much fun! Why didn't everyone else join me? Sure, the pool was a little small for all of us to fit at once, but we could have taken turns. (I'm learning about taking turns. I'm not good at it yet, but I try.)
I learned that wearing a life jacket is a necessary precaution when taking a ride on a boat. I learned that driving a boat is easy and fun. All those buttons and levers! I learned that seals are lazy water dogs that bark and lay in the sun and slip into the water when people get too close. Most importantly, I learned that it's easy to fall asleep with the roar of the engines and the drone of rushing wind in my face. The peaceful din reminds me of being in the womb. I miss those carefree days. Now it's all get-up-and-play, eat-your-snack, don't-climb-onto-the-counters, and other big kid nonsense. Oh, to be a fetus again!
This week I learned lobster isn't what I expected. The outside is hard and red, which is fine, but the inside is boring and white. You and Bubbie and everyone else were adamant that I would love eating lobster, but I proved you all wrong. Rather, I proved that I am stubborn enough to refuse to try something that I might like but then again might not.
Speaking of things that I don't like, I need to add "falling down the stairs" to my ever-growing list. You have a lot of stairs, Zayde, and they call to me like the sirens called to Odysseus. Just like those darn sirens, the stairs are beautiful but dangerous, and I found out what happens when I'm not a careful climber. Luckily, I also found out just how quick Mommy's reflexes are, and I didn't tumble all the way to the bottom. I have a feeling she's going to try to get you to put up a baby gate. Fight the power, Zayde! Let me roam freely! I promise I won't blame you when I crack open my skull.
On the topic of going up and down, I learned that I LOVE hills. Big hills, little hills - it doesn't matter. I love to run up and down the hills as fast as I can. We don't have many hills where we live, so it was such a pleasant surprise to encounter a variety of elevations in New England. I know this is a big favor to ask, but would you and Bubbie mind bringing back a hill with you when you return to Florida this winter? I don't care how big they are or if they're covered in grass. I just want to liven up our backyard a little. If you bring back more than one, I'll bet we can get an excellent price for it. The demand among Florida toddlers for decent climbing hills must be huge!
After a few glorious days with you and Bubbie, my parents took me back to Boston, where I learned how to ride a zebra. Well, I learned how to ride a pretend Zebra that was attached to a
carousel in Boston Common. I also learned how to wade in Frog Pond, which has no frogs. I learned that we have friends in Massachusetts that my parents have known for a long time. I met their sons, Nate and Jake, and we had a lovely time trading sticks, observing a ladybug in its natural habitat, sharing snacks, and walking through the park. Nate is a much older boy; he's almost in preschool! He says I'm adorable, which is true, and we made a plan to Skype chat. (That's our little secret, okay, Zayde? We don't need to let my other boyfriends - Jordy, Colin, Gabe, etc. know about Nate.)
This was a big week for all of us, and I hear that Mommy is crazy enough to take me back to see you all by herself. I hope she brings more stickers. I used up all the other ones on the return flight. You'd be amazed at how many stickers I can fit on Daddy's forehead.
Wheels up,
Zelda
This week was chock full of learning adventures. It started off slowly but surely when I learned that the whole world drinks from a big cup that's somewhere in Brazil. When they're not drinking from the cup, people run around a big grassy field and kick a ball. My favorite part is identifying the ball on the television screen and yelling, "ball!" I never got to see the cup, though. Maybe that was on another channel.
The educational aspects of the week really picked up when Mommy and Daddy and I woke up early on Thursday and drove to the airport. Did you know that planes are much bigger on the ground than when they're flying over our house? On our flight to Boston, I learned that it is not okay to kick the seat in front of me, unlock and lock the tray table, or crawl on the floor. Thank goodness Mommy and Daddy brought two new lift-the-flap books and a learn-to-dress monkey on the plane or I never would have kept them occupied and distracted past take-off.
On the drive from Boston to Maine, I learned that Mommy can, in fact, give me milk while the car is in motion. The trick it to have someone else driving.
In Maine, I learned that radishes are born in dirt and need to be rescued. Strawberries fresh from Aunt Linda's garden are much better than the ones Mommy gets at the store. I don't understand why we don't always have them at home. I learned that some driveways are covered in millions of tiny stones, all of which enjoy being scooped, shuffled, and tossed. I learned that the water in kiddie pools in Maine is much colder than in Florida, but seeing as I was allowed to swim without a bathing suit, I didn't mind at all. I also learned about the pure joy of running naked through the grass while eating a homemade ice pop. Linda, who is an artist, showed me how to use the pop to paint on my tummy. I had so much fun! Why didn't everyone else join me? Sure, the pool was a little small for all of us to fit at once, but we could have taken turns. (I'm learning about taking turns. I'm not good at it yet, but I try.)
I learned that wearing a life jacket is a necessary precaution when taking a ride on a boat. I learned that driving a boat is easy and fun. All those buttons and levers! I learned that seals are lazy water dogs that bark and lay in the sun and slip into the water when people get too close. Most importantly, I learned that it's easy to fall asleep with the roar of the engines and the drone of rushing wind in my face. The peaceful din reminds me of being in the womb. I miss those carefree days. Now it's all get-up-and-play, eat-your-snack, don't-climb-onto-the-counters, and other big kid nonsense. Oh, to be a fetus again!
This week I learned lobster isn't what I expected. The outside is hard and red, which is fine, but the inside is boring and white. You and Bubbie and everyone else were adamant that I would love eating lobster, but I proved you all wrong. Rather, I proved that I am stubborn enough to refuse to try something that I might like but then again might not.
Speaking of things that I don't like, I need to add "falling down the stairs" to my ever-growing list. You have a lot of stairs, Zayde, and they call to me like the sirens called to Odysseus. Just like those darn sirens, the stairs are beautiful but dangerous, and I found out what happens when I'm not a careful climber. Luckily, I also found out just how quick Mommy's reflexes are, and I didn't tumble all the way to the bottom. I have a feeling she's going to try to get you to put up a baby gate. Fight the power, Zayde! Let me roam freely! I promise I won't blame you when I crack open my skull.
On the topic of going up and down, I learned that I LOVE hills. Big hills, little hills - it doesn't matter. I love to run up and down the hills as fast as I can. We don't have many hills where we live, so it was such a pleasant surprise to encounter a variety of elevations in New England. I know this is a big favor to ask, but would you and Bubbie mind bringing back a hill with you when you return to Florida this winter? I don't care how big they are or if they're covered in grass. I just want to liven up our backyard a little. If you bring back more than one, I'll bet we can get an excellent price for it. The demand among Florida toddlers for decent climbing hills must be huge!
After a few glorious days with you and Bubbie, my parents took me back to Boston, where I learned how to ride a zebra. Well, I learned how to ride a pretend Zebra that was attached to a
carousel in Boston Common. I also learned how to wade in Frog Pond, which has no frogs. I learned that we have friends in Massachusetts that my parents have known for a long time. I met their sons, Nate and Jake, and we had a lovely time trading sticks, observing a ladybug in its natural habitat, sharing snacks, and walking through the park. Nate is a much older boy; he's almost in preschool! He says I'm adorable, which is true, and we made a plan to Skype chat. (That's our little secret, okay, Zayde? We don't need to let my other boyfriends - Jordy, Colin, Gabe, etc. know about Nate.)
This was a big week for all of us, and I hear that Mommy is crazy enough to take me back to see you all by herself. I hope she brings more stickers. I used up all the other ones on the return flight. You'd be amazed at how many stickers I can fit on Daddy's forehead.
Wheels up,
Zelda
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Month 19
Dear Zayde,
This month I learned about empowerment.
I learned that using a real fork allows me to stab my chicken and bring to to my own mouth. Those baby forks are practically useless with their blunt plastic tines, but grown-up forks are powerful tools. I have a feeling that knives would make me a truly formidable opponent against a piece of meat, but no one will let me near them. It's ageism, I tell you! I learned that spoons can be useful for scooping, but my personal favorite motion will always be the powerful stab-and-jab method.
I learned that I can propel myself while riding my musical train. Now that I'm almost 32 inches tall, my feet reach the ground when I sit on my train, and I can make that sucker careen across the floor, all while blaring "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" at an annoyingly loud volume.
I learned that I can sit on my potty all by myself. I still have no idea why everyone wants me to sit on a plastic bowl with my pants around my ankles, but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually. It has something to do with diapers. That's about all I've gleaned thus far.
I learned that I can get food out from between my teeth with the help of floss. (Full disclosure: I make Mommy do it because I've learned to be wary of string. I really can't stand when my bananas have any of that stringy nonsense between the fruit and its peel, and if my shirt suddenly sprouts a wayward string, I find it necessary to complain at the top of my lungs until someone removes it.)
I learned that baby showers are full of excitement. We celebrated back-to-back babies-to-be this month, and if the babies themselves are half as fun as the parties in their honor, then maybe I've been wrong about not wanting a sibling. At the first baby shower (for Ian and Tabitha's baby boy), I learned how to wear a lei and how to walk up and down (and up and down) an imposing flight of metal stairs. Good times. The next day, we joined in the celebration for Camille and Jay's baby girl. That's where I learned how to jump around a bounce house and sway to the reggae music being played by a DJ. There's only one thing I don't really understand about baby showers: where were the babies? And why weren't we in the shower? Adults come up with the strangest names for their events. In unrelated news, Tabitha and Camille are getting really fat.
With my own two feet,
Zelda
This month I learned about empowerment.
I learned that using a real fork allows me to stab my chicken and bring to to my own mouth. Those baby forks are practically useless with their blunt plastic tines, but grown-up forks are powerful tools. I have a feeling that knives would make me a truly formidable opponent against a piece of meat, but no one will let me near them. It's ageism, I tell you! I learned that spoons can be useful for scooping, but my personal favorite motion will always be the powerful stab-and-jab method.
I learned that I can propel myself while riding my musical train. Now that I'm almost 32 inches tall, my feet reach the ground when I sit on my train, and I can make that sucker careen across the floor, all while blaring "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" at an annoyingly loud volume.
I learned that I can sit on my potty all by myself. I still have no idea why everyone wants me to sit on a plastic bowl with my pants around my ankles, but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually. It has something to do with diapers. That's about all I've gleaned thus far.
I learned that I can get food out from between my teeth with the help of floss. (Full disclosure: I make Mommy do it because I've learned to be wary of string. I really can't stand when my bananas have any of that stringy nonsense between the fruit and its peel, and if my shirt suddenly sprouts a wayward string, I find it necessary to complain at the top of my lungs until someone removes it.)
I learned that baby showers are full of excitement. We celebrated back-to-back babies-to-be this month, and if the babies themselves are half as fun as the parties in their honor, then maybe I've been wrong about not wanting a sibling. At the first baby shower (for Ian and Tabitha's baby boy), I learned how to wear a lei and how to walk up and down (and up and down) an imposing flight of metal stairs. Good times. The next day, we joined in the celebration for Camille and Jay's baby girl. That's where I learned how to jump around a bounce house and sway to the reggae music being played by a DJ. There's only one thing I don't really understand about baby showers: where were the babies? And why weren't we in the shower? Adults come up with the strangest names for their events. In unrelated news, Tabitha and Camille are getting really fat.
I learned that there are three methods of shopping, and there are certain advantages and disadvantages to each. The first method is being attached to Mommy with the help of our baby carrier. From that vantage, I can see what she sees. I've gathered that she's short for adult standards, but the extra few feet of elevation make a huge difference to me. She keeps me warm up there, too, which is a significant plus when we're in Publix, where shopping is a pleasure but often chilly. The main disadvantage of being worn is my inability to roam or reach. Sometimes that doesn't bother me, but on occasion, I spy something begging to be grabbed, and then I'm stuck and out of luck. The second method of shopping is sitting in the cart. I'm still higher up than usual, but it's not quite as good as being held. In the cart I reign over the treasures we collect as we walk through the aisles and remove items from the shelves. This allows me to turn around, pick up one of the treasured items, and throw it on the ground. I don't do this often, but it's nice to know that I have the option. (There was an incident involving a bottle of Benadryl in Target that resulted in a "clean up in aisle 4" and Mommy taking the blame, which I thought was incredibly cool of her. I'll have to remember that favor one night when I feel like waking her up at 2:00 AM.) The problem with sitting in the cart is that I am neither touching Mommy nor truly free to express myself as a full-fledged walker. It's nice to ride, but only as long as I want to and not one second longer. The third - and most empowering - of the shopping methods is walking on my own. Having the freedom to browse, read labels, test out the elasticity of any given product...I can't really express how valuable all that is to me. Sure, I'm too short to reach most of the shelves, and I do get tired of walking about the time that Mommy needs me to hurry-up-and-take-my-hand-and-let's-GO, but these are small prices to pay for the sheer joy of unencumbered locomotion. There's nothing more powerful than a gal on the go.
With my own two feet,
Zelda
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