Year 2: Week 8

Dear Zayde,


This week I learned that hands are for holding, particularly when it's time to get up and walk.

I've been holding onto furniture and walls for the last few weeks as I teetered around the house. In all honesty, balance is not my forte, but I'm getting the hang of shifting my weight from side to side and stomping down on the ground with each foot in turn. If Rome wasn't built in a day, I don't see how a small person like myself could learn to walk within 24 hours.

This repetition of controlled falling seemed at first like a fun distraction when I had nothing better to do and didn't need to get anywhere. Crawling has been a convenient and reliable form of locomotion for months, and I didn't see the point of changing my mode of transportation just because everyone around me is obsessed with my walking.

But this week I learned that holding onto someone's hands gives me the freedom to move away from the furniture, away from the walls, and to cross a room at an astounding speed. Now I know why everyone walks: it's exhilarating! Walking with someone is a joyous endeavor; we get to stroll around the house and the backyard, hand in hand, enjoying the scenery from the improved vantage point of two and a half feet above the ground. A gal could get used to this.

On a most likely unrelated note, I learned this week that Mommy has been securing furniture to the walls and locking heretofore easily explorable cabinets and drawers. Is she preparing for an earthquake? A hurricane? I can't imagine why she would need to batten down the hatches, so to speak, unless she were expecting a major upheaval. Should I be worried?


Handily,
Zelda

Year 2: Week 7

Dear Zayde,


This week I learned that everyone can get sick at the same time. First, Daddy was sick. His head hurt, and his nose was stuffy, and his throat felt like fire. Then Grandma got sick. Then I got sick. Then Mommy got sick. It was a bonding experience for Mommy and me because we were stuck at home together, all by ourselves, with nothing but tissues and steamy showers and Sesame Street to keep us company. I learned that Mommy isn't much fun when she's sick, and one day she was so tired that Daddy stayed home from work on a week day, which I hadn't known was possible.

This week I also learned that having a cold makes you hot, even when the temperature outside is frigid. I learned that we've been affected by something called a "polar vortex," which has made me both excited and worried about possible giant white bears in our backyard. Luckily, we live far south of anything resembling "real" winter, so the extent of our winter wonderland is the opportunity to wear our most adorable sweaters and socks.

This week I learned that the best medicine is rest, so I'm going to cut this short and take an extra nap today. That way, I can stay up nice and late and play with my parents until we all pass out sometime near dawn.


Ahem,
Zelda

Year 2: Week 6

Dear Zayde,


This week I learned how to put those colored rings on the post. For months, I've been taking the rings off the post, and the game seemed somewhat pointless to me. Mommy didn't seem thrilled to have the job of putting the rings back on the post when I was done with my part, and so it never occurred to me that perhaps I was missing half of the fun. This week, in search of new forms of entertainment, I decided to reverse roles, and I tried my luck at stacking. It was a huge success, and now I enjoy the entire process of building up and breaking down. I'm wondering if maybe those Legos have similar properties. I'm awfully good at tearing down Daddy's buildings. Maybe I'll join him in his constructing some day so that he can knock down what I've built. Haha. Just kidding. That would be ridiculous.

This week I learned how to stand up without the aid of a piece of furniture or a helpful adult. I also learned to humor the masses with an occasional two-step maneuver, which lets everyone know that I can walk, and the fact that I don't take a larger number of consecutive steps is merely a personal choice and beyond the control of meddling parents. Every time I take those two steps, Mommy thinks it means I will walk on my own any day now. Excuse me while I laugh hard enough to necessitate a new diaper.

This week I learned that forks can be useful for getting food into my mouth, but they're still not as convenient or efficient as my fingers.

This week I learned that you are a business man, and I'd like to propose some new product ideas. The baby toy market is a multi-billion dollar industry, and there are indeed countless versions of (nearly) every imaginable item, from the tried and true blocks to the new-fangled "baby iPhones" full of bells and whistles. I'm pretty sure that it's adults who are making these toys, and I'm also fairly certain that they're not doing enough market research because they're missing out on what a toddler really wants. Here are my ideas for some new products. 

2014 Baby Toy Ideas

1. Ice

What every toddler wants is easy access to the magical bucket inside the freezer that makes ice cubes. The sensation of stirring the ice around the bucket until my hand goes numb never gets old, but I am limited in my ice-play to the times when Mommy has to get something out of the freezer. What I need - what all one year olds need - is a sort of kid-door (not unlike a doggy door) that would allow for easy entry into the freezer. Then I can pretend it's winter any time of the year.

2. Cords

I've noticed a lot of play phones and play laptops on the market, but where are the play cords? How are we supposed to charge our electronics? Furthermore, a cord in and of itself is a constant source of entertainment. It bends. It winds. It has two ends that taste of metal and other forbidden flavors. I think the important part of this toy would be the instructions, wherein we explain to parents that they should plug the cord into a wall socket and let the toddler remove it at her leisure. What we're selling here isn't just a product; it's an experience.

4. Endless Toilet Paper Rolls

The fun is in unwinding the roll, and once that's done, all you have left is a giant pile of thin white paper. Sure, everyone likes to rip up paper, but that activity gets old after a few minutes. What we need is a perpetually unrolling toilet paper machine. I'm telling you, it would sell like hot cakes, whatever those are.

As you can see, I've been thinking quite a bit about these new toys, and I'd be happy to discuss each with you. If you like what you see, we can set up a meeting some time this week at the top of your stairs. 

Diversifying,

Zelda