Year 2: Week 6

Dear Zayde,


This week I learned how to put those colored rings on the post. For months, I've been taking the rings off the post, and the game seemed somewhat pointless to me. Mommy didn't seem thrilled to have the job of putting the rings back on the post when I was done with my part, and so it never occurred to me that perhaps I was missing half of the fun. This week, in search of new forms of entertainment, I decided to reverse roles, and I tried my luck at stacking. It was a huge success, and now I enjoy the entire process of building up and breaking down. I'm wondering if maybe those Legos have similar properties. I'm awfully good at tearing down Daddy's buildings. Maybe I'll join him in his constructing some day so that he can knock down what I've built. Haha. Just kidding. That would be ridiculous.

This week I learned how to stand up without the aid of a piece of furniture or a helpful adult. I also learned to humor the masses with an occasional two-step maneuver, which lets everyone know that I can walk, and the fact that I don't take a larger number of consecutive steps is merely a personal choice and beyond the control of meddling parents. Every time I take those two steps, Mommy thinks it means I will walk on my own any day now. Excuse me while I laugh hard enough to necessitate a new diaper.

This week I learned that forks can be useful for getting food into my mouth, but they're still not as convenient or efficient as my fingers.

This week I learned that you are a business man, and I'd like to propose some new product ideas. The baby toy market is a multi-billion dollar industry, and there are indeed countless versions of (nearly) every imaginable item, from the tried and true blocks to the new-fangled "baby iPhones" full of bells and whistles. I'm pretty sure that it's adults who are making these toys, and I'm also fairly certain that they're not doing enough market research because they're missing out on what a toddler really wants. Here are my ideas for some new products. 

2014 Baby Toy Ideas

1. Ice

What every toddler wants is easy access to the magical bucket inside the freezer that makes ice cubes. The sensation of stirring the ice around the bucket until my hand goes numb never gets old, but I am limited in my ice-play to the times when Mommy has to get something out of the freezer. What I need - what all one year olds need - is a sort of kid-door (not unlike a doggy door) that would allow for easy entry into the freezer. Then I can pretend it's winter any time of the year.

2. Cords

I've noticed a lot of play phones and play laptops on the market, but where are the play cords? How are we supposed to charge our electronics? Furthermore, a cord in and of itself is a constant source of entertainment. It bends. It winds. It has two ends that taste of metal and other forbidden flavors. I think the important part of this toy would be the instructions, wherein we explain to parents that they should plug the cord into a wall socket and let the toddler remove it at her leisure. What we're selling here isn't just a product; it's an experience.

4. Endless Toilet Paper Rolls

The fun is in unwinding the roll, and once that's done, all you have left is a giant pile of thin white paper. Sure, everyone likes to rip up paper, but that activity gets old after a few minutes. What we need is a perpetually unrolling toilet paper machine. I'm telling you, it would sell like hot cakes, whatever those are.

As you can see, I've been thinking quite a bit about these new toys, and I'd be happy to discuss each with you. If you like what you see, we can set up a meeting some time this week at the top of your stairs. 

Diversifying,

Zelda