Dear Zayde,
This week I learned that blood is thicker than seltzer.
Bubbi reminded Mommy that Tante Goldie used to say that, and this week I found out what it means because Daddy's father, my Saba, came to visit me all the way from Israel. He came in October to meet Mommy and Grandma, but before that, he hadn't seen Daddy in a long time. (I know what you're thinking; for me, a long time is three weeks, which is more than half my current lifespan, but I mean a really long time, even by grown-up standards.) Saba came to our home. He held me and told me I am very special. He told Daddy that he's very proud of him. He asked Daddy if he's crazy for me, and Daddy said, "from the first moment I saw her." Saba said that's how he knows I have a great Daddy, but I could have told him that already because my Daddy holds me and changes me and talks to me about securities law, the pitiful state of Dolphins football, and Mommy's many amazing attributes. Clearly, I have the best Daddy in the world.
Saba made the decision to fly all the way here the day I was born. Do you know why? It was because Daddy sent him a very important photograph. In the picture, I am about ten minutes old, and Daddy is holding me. He's still wearing his surgical mask because we're in the operating room. I am looking at him, and he's looking at me. And it is clear that we are very much in love. When Saba saw this, his heart told him to buy a plane ticket, to cross the oceans and continents between there and here, and to see his first grandchild as soon as possible.
So now I know what it means that blood is thicker than seltzer. It means that family is forever, no matter what happens, no matter who says what silly thing to whom, no matter how far apart people become - in space, time, or ideas. This week I learned that my family is full of people who love me, and some day, when I have an adequate vocabulary, I will tell each of them how much I love them, too.
Yours always,
Zelda
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Week 4
Dear Zayde,
This week I learned that the weird stumpy thing attached to my midsection was not really a part of me. It fell off one morning while Mommy was changing my diaper, and we were both thrilled to find underneath an adorable belly button. This means that she can stop swabbing the area with cold alcohol wipes. It also means that I now know what a "real bath" is.
Until this week, "taking a bath" meant lying prone on a towel on the kitchen counter, exposed to the world and freezing my tiny tushie while Mommy and Daddy held me down and wiped me with wet facecloths. I enjoyed the end bit, during which I was wrapped snuggly in a towel while Mommy held me and washed my hair. The rest of it was miserable. Now I know that baths are actually quite lovely. I get to sit in a tub of warm water while gently washed from head to toe. My tub is blue and looks like a whale, and while I sit partially reclined, my legs and feet float just like when I was back in the womb. It's luxurious, Zayde. You should try it sometime.
This week's letter shall be brief because the weather has finally cooled, and we are heading out for a walk around the neighborhood. I previously thought that outside the house was always 82 degrees and sunny, but apparently there are other forms of weather. It can be cool and windy. Daddy said something about "snow" in other parts of the country (not sure what that means yet), but I was told not to worry about that here. My parents are too smart to force me to live in a place where it snows. Perhaps that means I'm really smart, too. I'll keep you posted on that one.
Now in my updated cordless edition,
Zelda
This week I learned that the weird stumpy thing attached to my midsection was not really a part of me. It fell off one morning while Mommy was changing my diaper, and we were both thrilled to find underneath an adorable belly button. This means that she can stop swabbing the area with cold alcohol wipes. It also means that I now know what a "real bath" is.
Until this week, "taking a bath" meant lying prone on a towel on the kitchen counter, exposed to the world and freezing my tiny tushie while Mommy and Daddy held me down and wiped me with wet facecloths. I enjoyed the end bit, during which I was wrapped snuggly in a towel while Mommy held me and washed my hair. The rest of it was miserable. Now I know that baths are actually quite lovely. I get to sit in a tub of warm water while gently washed from head to toe. My tub is blue and looks like a whale, and while I sit partially reclined, my legs and feet float just like when I was back in the womb. It's luxurious, Zayde. You should try it sometime.
This week's letter shall be brief because the weather has finally cooled, and we are heading out for a walk around the neighborhood. I previously thought that outside the house was always 82 degrees and sunny, but apparently there are other forms of weather. It can be cool and windy. Daddy said something about "snow" in other parts of the country (not sure what that means yet), but I was told not to worry about that here. My parents are too smart to force me to live in a place where it snows. Perhaps that means I'm really smart, too. I'll keep you posted on that one.
Now in my updated cordless edition,
Zelda
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Week 3
Dear Zayde,
This week I learned that Grandma does not, in fact, live with us. She and her dog, Lenny, apparently live nearby and were only staying here for a couple of weeks to help Mommy and Daddy welcome me to the world. Everyone seems rather upset about Grandma going home. I was mostly confused about who would rock me and walk me around the house at 4:00 a.m. after Mommy feeds me. Now I know that Mommy and Daddy are able to do this quite well.
I also learned this week that what I've been experiencing is called "hiccups." They are horrendously wretched full body convulsions that plague me after I've finished eating. Mommy says I am eating too fast, but this torture surely cannot be my fault. Some unseen evil being must be doing this to me, and the only way to make it stop is to scream very loudly about how unhappy I am.
In fact, the only way to make anything unpleasant go away is to scream. I learned this week that screaming causes someone to fix my problems. When I need something, I scream. In no time, an adult (that's what these giant people are called) picks me up, changes my diaper, feeds me, burps me, and rocks me until I have stopped screaming. It's a very efficient cause and effect mechanism. I will continue to use this form of communication because it's been so effective so far.
The most important thing I learned this week, however, is that car rides do not always result in a trip to the doctor. On Monday, Mommy put me in my car seat, and we did something called "running errands." I really enjoyed the movement of the car, and when it paused, I let Mommy know that I was unhappy until she put on some good music and we started moving again. I find the car very relaxing, and it's nice to know that I can enjoy my time on the road without worrying about being poked and prodded by a doctor. I'm hoping that Mommy refrains from taking me back to that guy who poked my heel and made me get naked on a scale like a side of beef. Last time I only peed on the scale. Next time I'll be forced to pull out all the stops.
Looking forward to seeing you again very soon, Zayde. Now that I'm 21 (days), we can share a glass of that Glenlivet you mentioned. I'm not teething yet, but I'm sure it would make us all feel a lot better.
Hasta luego,
Z
This week I learned that Grandma does not, in fact, live with us. She and her dog, Lenny, apparently live nearby and were only staying here for a couple of weeks to help Mommy and Daddy welcome me to the world. Everyone seems rather upset about Grandma going home. I was mostly confused about who would rock me and walk me around the house at 4:00 a.m. after Mommy feeds me. Now I know that Mommy and Daddy are able to do this quite well.
I also learned this week that what I've been experiencing is called "hiccups." They are horrendously wretched full body convulsions that plague me after I've finished eating. Mommy says I am eating too fast, but this torture surely cannot be my fault. Some unseen evil being must be doing this to me, and the only way to make it stop is to scream very loudly about how unhappy I am.
In fact, the only way to make anything unpleasant go away is to scream. I learned this week that screaming causes someone to fix my problems. When I need something, I scream. In no time, an adult (that's what these giant people are called) picks me up, changes my diaper, feeds me, burps me, and rocks me until I have stopped screaming. It's a very efficient cause and effect mechanism. I will continue to use this form of communication because it's been so effective so far.
The most important thing I learned this week, however, is that car rides do not always result in a trip to the doctor. On Monday, Mommy put me in my car seat, and we did something called "running errands." I really enjoyed the movement of the car, and when it paused, I let Mommy know that I was unhappy until she put on some good music and we started moving again. I find the car very relaxing, and it's nice to know that I can enjoy my time on the road without worrying about being poked and prodded by a doctor. I'm hoping that Mommy refrains from taking me back to that guy who poked my heel and made me get naked on a scale like a side of beef. Last time I only peed on the scale. Next time I'll be forced to pull out all the stops.
Looking forward to seeing you again very soon, Zayde. Now that I'm 21 (days), we can share a glass of that Glenlivet you mentioned. I'm not teething yet, but I'm sure it would make us all feel a lot better.
Hasta luego,
Z
Friday, December 7, 2012
Week 2
Dear Zayde,
This week I learned that daytime is when the sun is shining, and nighttime is when the sky is dark. (The sun is a big yellow circle in the sky, but you probably knew that already.) Mommy and Daddy seem to be in much better moods during the daytime, but I don't understand why. I hope I can figure it out soon because I learned that they get very cranky at night, just about the time that I would really like to spend some quality time playing and being fed every two hours. Maybe I can persuade them to take more naps during the day like I do so they can stay up later at night.
On Saturday, I learned that there are people and places outside our house. Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma put me in a four-wheeled open-air vehicle that let me observe what they called our "neighborhood." I learned that trees are tall green things and have leaves that sway in the wind. I learned that wind is kind of cold but feels lovely and refreshing. I was particularly intrigued by the people playing outside. They weren't as big as Mommy and Daddy, but they weren't as small as I am, either. They were about the size of the blonde boy that held me in the hospital. I think someone said he is my cousin, but the people playing outside aren't my cousins. I'm going to need to conduct some more research before I can categorize this new type of people.
On Sunday I learned that I have a Saba in Israel because he called Daddy to say hello. I'm going to meet him in a few weeks. He is Daddy's Daddy, which I assume means that everyone has a Daddy. I heard my Mommy call my Grandma "Mom," so maybe everyone has a Mommy, too. I hope that's true because having a Mommy and Daddy is rather wonderful. On our walk today, we met the family that lives next door. They have two of those smaller people, and one of them was wearing a diaper just like I do. Mommy said I get to play with these mini-people when I get bigger, whatever that means.
This week I also learned that Daddy is a lawyer. That means he wears nice clothes and a long piece of cloth around his neck, like a burp cloth but longer and thinner. He leaves the house in the mornings and returns after the sun has disappeared. Daddy told me that I can grow up to be anything that I want, but that he strongly suggests I don't go to law school. I don't know what he's talking about, but he seemed adamant, so I will try to follow this advice.
I now know what a pediatric surgeon is, and I'm not impressed. A pediatric surgeon is someone who holds you down, opens your mouth, and cuts something under your tongue. How could there be such mean people in the world? I know Mommy and Daddy didn't like her, either, because Mommy held her breath the whole time, and Daddy was so upset he shed a few tears. On an unrelated note, I've noticed that I'm swallowing a lot more milk every time I eat.
It's been an exciting week, indeed, and I predict that next week will be even more of an adventure. Saftah mentioned something about latkes, whatever those are, and Mommy said it's time to get out the menorahs. I hope this has something to do with eating because I have learned that the best part of being awake is when Mommy feeds me. The big people seem to enjoy putting things in their mouths, too.
Until next week,
Z
This week I learned that daytime is when the sun is shining, and nighttime is when the sky is dark. (The sun is a big yellow circle in the sky, but you probably knew that already.) Mommy and Daddy seem to be in much better moods during the daytime, but I don't understand why. I hope I can figure it out soon because I learned that they get very cranky at night, just about the time that I would really like to spend some quality time playing and being fed every two hours. Maybe I can persuade them to take more naps during the day like I do so they can stay up later at night.
On Saturday, I learned that there are people and places outside our house. Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma put me in a four-wheeled open-air vehicle that let me observe what they called our "neighborhood." I learned that trees are tall green things and have leaves that sway in the wind. I learned that wind is kind of cold but feels lovely and refreshing. I was particularly intrigued by the people playing outside. They weren't as big as Mommy and Daddy, but they weren't as small as I am, either. They were about the size of the blonde boy that held me in the hospital. I think someone said he is my cousin, but the people playing outside aren't my cousins. I'm going to need to conduct some more research before I can categorize this new type of people.
On Sunday I learned that I have a Saba in Israel because he called Daddy to say hello. I'm going to meet him in a few weeks. He is Daddy's Daddy, which I assume means that everyone has a Daddy. I heard my Mommy call my Grandma "Mom," so maybe everyone has a Mommy, too. I hope that's true because having a Mommy and Daddy is rather wonderful. On our walk today, we met the family that lives next door. They have two of those smaller people, and one of them was wearing a diaper just like I do. Mommy said I get to play with these mini-people when I get bigger, whatever that means.
This week I also learned that Daddy is a lawyer. That means he wears nice clothes and a long piece of cloth around his neck, like a burp cloth but longer and thinner. He leaves the house in the mornings and returns after the sun has disappeared. Daddy told me that I can grow up to be anything that I want, but that he strongly suggests I don't go to law school. I don't know what he's talking about, but he seemed adamant, so I will try to follow this advice.
I now know what a pediatric surgeon is, and I'm not impressed. A pediatric surgeon is someone who holds you down, opens your mouth, and cuts something under your tongue. How could there be such mean people in the world? I know Mommy and Daddy didn't like her, either, because Mommy held her breath the whole time, and Daddy was so upset he shed a few tears. On an unrelated note, I've noticed that I'm swallowing a lot more milk every time I eat.
It's been an exciting week, indeed, and I predict that next week will be even more of an adventure. Saftah mentioned something about latkes, whatever those are, and Mommy said it's time to get out the menorahs. I hope this has something to do with eating because I have learned that the best part of being awake is when Mommy feeds me. The big people seem to enjoy putting things in their mouths, too.
Until next week,
Z
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Week 1
Dear Zayde,
Everything is new.
This week I learned that the world is not, as previously believed, dark, wet, and the size of a watermelon. Instead, the world seems to be infinite in size, full of strange sounds and smells, and populated by giant warm beings who keep me clean and fed. At first, I thought we lived in a hospital, where I was often poked and prodded by nurses, but after a few days, we left that sterile environment and rode in some sort of luxury German transportation to a place called home. All in all, I'm much happier with the current situation.
I learned that I have a "Mommy" and a "Daddy" who enjoy kissing me from head to toe. I also have "grandparents" and other family members who tell me I'm adorable and good natured. I learned that Mommy has this amazing stuff in her that tastes great and makes my stomach full. If I cry a certain way, she feeds me this magical substance, and I often snooze in the process because it's just so darn relaxing. If I cry a different way, Mommy hands me to Daddy, who is particularly warm. When he walks me around our house and explains securities law and his fantasy football line up to me, I listen as long as I can before it's just too boring and I pass out in his arms.
Today, on my one-week birthday, I learned what a pediatrician is. He is a probing gentleman who insisted on stripping me down to my diaper, shining a light in my eyes, and poking my heel to see if I am jaundiced, whatever that is. (Apparently I am not.) He said I'm "perfect," and seeing as he is a medical professional, I shall trust his diagnosis. I learned that I am good at putting on weight; I am almost back to my birth weight of 6 lbs 14 oz. As I said, Mommy makes the best food. The doctor confirmed what Mommy learned about me in the hospital; I'm tongue tied. Don't worry, though. Mommy is bringing me to someone next week who will fix the problem. Afterward, I'll finally be able to stick my tongue out at the paparazzi when they get too close.
I predict that every day will bring new adventures and opportunities to learn, and I'm glad I decided to make my grand entrance last Friday. I am excited to see what next week has in store for me. For now, I think it's time to take my fifth nap of the day.
Your 6th,
Zelda
Everything is new.
This week I learned that the world is not, as previously believed, dark, wet, and the size of a watermelon. Instead, the world seems to be infinite in size, full of strange sounds and smells, and populated by giant warm beings who keep me clean and fed. At first, I thought we lived in a hospital, where I was often poked and prodded by nurses, but after a few days, we left that sterile environment and rode in some sort of luxury German transportation to a place called home. All in all, I'm much happier with the current situation.
I learned that I have a "Mommy" and a "Daddy" who enjoy kissing me from head to toe. I also have "grandparents" and other family members who tell me I'm adorable and good natured. I learned that Mommy has this amazing stuff in her that tastes great and makes my stomach full. If I cry a certain way, she feeds me this magical substance, and I often snooze in the process because it's just so darn relaxing. If I cry a different way, Mommy hands me to Daddy, who is particularly warm. When he walks me around our house and explains securities law and his fantasy football line up to me, I listen as long as I can before it's just too boring and I pass out in his arms.
Today, on my one-week birthday, I learned what a pediatrician is. He is a probing gentleman who insisted on stripping me down to my diaper, shining a light in my eyes, and poking my heel to see if I am jaundiced, whatever that is. (Apparently I am not.) He said I'm "perfect," and seeing as he is a medical professional, I shall trust his diagnosis. I learned that I am good at putting on weight; I am almost back to my birth weight of 6 lbs 14 oz. As I said, Mommy makes the best food. The doctor confirmed what Mommy learned about me in the hospital; I'm tongue tied. Don't worry, though. Mommy is bringing me to someone next week who will fix the problem. Afterward, I'll finally be able to stick my tongue out at the paparazzi when they get too close.
I predict that every day will bring new adventures and opportunities to learn, and I'm glad I decided to make my grand entrance last Friday. I am excited to see what next week has in store for me. For now, I think it's time to take my fifth nap of the day.
Your 6th,
Zelda
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