Week 14

Dear Zayde,

This week I learned how to confuse the heck out of my parents.  Remember how I told you that last week I'd learned to regress and began to once again wake up every few hours?  Well, that trick became bothersome after a week, so I've decided to mix it up and leave Mommy guessing.  One night I'll get up at 2:30, 5:30, and 7:00 a.m., and the next night I might sleep from 10:00 p.m. until 6:00 a.m.  The funny part is that Mommy will think something is terribly wrong that second night and will burst from her bed around 3:00 a.m. thinking that I've stopped breathing or somehow strangled myself in the bars of the crib.  She will run as fast as her incredibly out-of-shape body will carry her to my room, and then she will peer with haste at my chest to see if I am still alive.  Isn't that adorable?

I am beginning to understand that people are obsessed with my size.  Every time someone who hasn't seen me in a week or more visits, all I hear is, "She's getting so big!"  It's even more predictable when that person holds me and exclaims, "She's so heavy!"  I notice that no one says this to my Mommy, and she is MUCH bigger and far heavier than I.  And don't even get me started on the size of my Daddy.  I know that I am growing out of my outfits at what Mommy calls "an alarming rate," but is it really so surprising that I am getting bigger?  I was under the impression that my current occupation is to grow.  Please advise if I am mistaken on this account.  I have no idea how I might cease my daily increases in length and girth, but I'll try if that's what I'm supposed to do.

Speaking of growing, my hair is continuing to creep across my head and down my neck.  Mommy says I'm getting a mullet, which is apparently quite hilarious.  I don't get the joke.

This week I learned that I can be away from Mommy and Daddy for more than a couple of hours at a time.  On Sunday evening, Grandma and Savtah came to the house while my parents (that's a grown-up word for Mommies and Daddies) went to something called a "basketball game."  That night we played on my mat, bounced around the house, took a long walk, enjoyed a series of fascinating conversations while I reclined on my changing table, and generally enjoyed ourselves.  While I pretended to sleep in Grandma's arms, I got a little peek at what was on TV that night.  I think it was called the "Oscars," but all I saw was a bunch of skinny people in shiny clothes smiling and posing.  All in all, it was a lovely evening.  At first I felt guilty for enjoying myself so much while my parents were gone, but now I think that it's okay for us to explore our separate interests from time to time.  It takes a lot of energy to keep my Mommy entertained all week, and when Daddy is home all day on the weekends, I've got two people to keep smiling for hours on end.  Sometimes a baby just needs a little break from all that hard work, you know?

Also on Sunday, I had the great privilege of meeting Mommy's friend that she's known since high school.  (That is a place of learning and teenage angst where I will some day be forced to spend my days.)  Her name is Kanchan, and she is very beautiful and calm.  She wears sparkly jewelry that I would have loved to suck on if Mommy hadn't warned Kanchan before I could get any of it into my mouth.  Mommy and Kanchan talked about her upcoming wedding.  I'm not sure what that is, but it has something to do with flowers and dresses.  Considering that I happen to own a plethora of dresses with flowers on them, I think it would be a shame if I didn't attend the wedding.  Kanchan said that Indian weddings can last five whole days, so I told Mommy she'd better pack A LOT of diapers.

It's getting late, and Mommy likes to go out for a walk just before sunset.  Tonight I plan to have some milk, spit up maybe once or twice, and spend as much time as possible sucking on my hands.  After a few weeks of careful consideration, I've decided that - next to milk - hands are the most delicious things in the world.

Oops; I almost forgot: I want to thank you again for that meaningful conversation we shared on Monday.  I had no idea that grown-ups could speak my language, and I found it both thrilling and comforting that someone finally took the time to listen to what I had to say and respond in kind.  I don't know where you learned to speak Baby, but I'm glad you do.  I look forward to our next gab fest.

With love and gurgles,
Zelda