Week 26

Dear Zayde,


This week I learned that crowns make princesses rather sweaty.  It's a minor inconvenience, but I thought I'd mention it.  Luckily, Mommy knows how to make the bath water the perfect temperature each day, and I enjoy the ritual of hair washing.  I haven't figured out how Mommy and Daddy clean themselves, considering that there is no way they fit into my tub.  They usually smell pretty good (except for the days I've shared with them one or more of my body fluids), so I'm guessing they just stand in the little blue tub instead of reclining as I do.

This week I've almost perfected my ability to sit up without falling over.  If I lean too far to the side or toward the front, I can catch myself with my hands.  If I lean too far back, I am at the mercy of gravity and tend to topple.  Mommy usually places my Boppy pillow behind me, which offers an excellent reprieve from the hard work of using my abdominal muscles for extended periods.  When I'm fatigued, all I need to do is recline and lounge while gnawing on one or more of my favorite toys.

Speaking of toys, I learned this week that I am finally able to reach the hanging toys on my Exersaucer. This might not seem like a big deal, but those things have been taunting me for months.

Just yesterday I learned to make the ppbbll sound with my lips.  I think it's called "blowing raspberries."  Mommy and Daddy make this sound whenever I'm cranky because it usually causes me to stop what I'm doing and stare at them as though they've completely lost their minds.  Now that I can make this sound, I understand that they don't do it because they're loony; they do it because it tickles the lips in a most delightful way.

Speaking of delightful, this week I learned that yogurt is delicious.  Cheese, green beans, watermelon, rice cakes, and avocado are also tasty treats.  Broccoli is a little disturbing.  It reminds me of trees.  I love trees, and the thought of shrinking them and eating them is more than unnerving.  It's barbaric.  When I see broccoli, I get very upset and yell at it.  Mommy finds this amusing.  She clearly has a sick sense of humor.

This week, in honor of turning 6 months, Mommy AND Daddy escorted me to the doctor's office.  I thought we were going to have a party, but instead, the doctor just poked me a little and then sent in that [EDITED FOR PROFANITY] nurse, who once again stuck needles in my thighs.  What is her problem?  Did I offend her months ago?  Why does she hate my thighs so much?  Mommy and Daddy just stood there watching this catastrophe unfold, but don't worry; I got my revenge later in the day.  I deposited the entirety of my stomach's contents onto Mommy.  TWICE.  I even aimed well enough to get a bit down her shirt.  When Daddy returned home from work, I pooped on him.  So there.


Half a year old and wiser than ever,
Zelda