Month 16

Dear Zayde,


After a series of executive meetings, focus groups, and late night pow-wows, Mommy and I have decided to revamp this blog into a monthly event until the time when I am able to "play by myself," whatever that means. We are not changing the URL because we believe that there will indeed come a time in which Mommy will have an entire hour a week to devote to helping me write to you. That time might be when I start kindergarten.

We have a lot of catching up to do, so let's just jump right in...

This month I learned that walking offers certain advantages. First of all, I can keep my knees clean. Second - and perhaps most importantly - I can carry two things at a time. For example, I can hold my pink monkey in one hand and Daddy's keys in the other. With a purse thrown over my shoulder and an item in each hand, I'm just like Mommy, who's always lugging too much stuff around when we go out on our daily adventures. Do we really need that many diapers and wipes? And an extra outfit? And Benadryl? And all those credit cards? (As you know, I learned to unzip her bag and have become adept at emptying its contents any place I see fit.) Just last week I learned that I can carry my dirty diaper to the trash bin and throw it away. I also learned to throw away paper towels, tissues, and banana peels (which I learned are not for eating, just like an orange peel but unlike the skin of an apple or peach). It wasn't until I threw away my fork that I learned the trash bin is a one way situation. Once something goes in, it can't come back out.

On the topic of in versus out, I learned that walking outside is far superior to walking inside. Outside the house, I can walk on the grass. I know what your'e thinking, and it's true that I was once fearful of grass, but I have overcome my anxiety and embraced the beauty of crunching leaves underfoot. Now I prefer to trek across our lawn, our neighbors' lawns, and any other grass I encounter. Sidewalks are too easy. Give me the rugged terrain of a suburban swale any day. On our daily walks, I learned that when it's windy, the trees and bushes are extra friendly and love to wave at me. My parents are teaching me to be polite, so I always wave back. I learned that there's a black and white cat that roams around our neighborhood. One evening he showed up at our back door while we were eating dinner. I waved at him, but unlike the bushes, he didn't wave back. He ran away. (He's not the first cat to walk quickly away from me. I'm not sure why cats aren't more friendly.) I've seen squirrels outside, too, and they're exciting in a fleeting sort of way. Mommy caught a lizard on Savtah's patio and was excited to show it to me, but I found it to be less than interesting. At least now I know that Mommy likes small creatures with tails. That information might come in handy some day. Mommy and I do agree that flies are wretched creatures that do not belong in the house. I had a serious run-in with a fly this month, and upon learning that it could buzz by my face and then just land on my favorite window to taunt me, I had to sound the alarm. Mommy came to the rescue, but it took her a while to remove it from the house. That's when I learned that Mommy has lightning quick reflexes and is rather dangerous with a shoe.

This month I learned that everyone has a nose, two ears, two eyes, a mouth, hair, and a belly button, which my parents adorably refer to as a "bee-bo" thanks to a certain Sandra Boynton book. I learned that when someone asks me "where is your [previously identified body part]?" I am supposed to point to it. (This is also true for everyday objects such as lights, cars, mirrors, and pets. Yes, I consider pets to be moving objects until proven otherwise.) I learned that most people have lots of teeth in their mouths, but some of us only have a few teeth thus far. I learned that getting my top front teeth was far more excruciating than getting the two bottom teeth, and this does not give me much hope for what is to come. Mommy taught me that frozen apple juice on a stick makes for a nice distraction from the pain in my mouth. You know what else makes me feel better? Milk. Lots and lots of milk.

Speaking of milk, I have a sudden urge to yell at Mommy and make the sign for milk until she sits down in my favorite chair and gives me what I want. I've learned that persistent and clear communication go a long way in this household. I look forward to the day when I can verbally accost her until I get what I want.


Until next month,
Zelda